Daily Prompt – Don’t You Forget About Me

As you walk on by…. (Sing it with me now!)

Will you call my name? Will you remember me at all? Will I have done anything in my life that will have had an impact on anyone near to me (or far)? What will I be remembered for?

I never imagined there would be very many people at my funeral, if there was one. I’d always just hoped someone would be in my life who would be willing to dump my ashes off the side of a plane over the Everglades. On the other hand, of course it would be nice to have a finely inscribed headstone commemorating some important aspect of my life. If anything, I’d want to be remembered for the sacrifices I have made in my life to ensure that my child has more opportunities than I did (and they have been incredibly painful sacrifices). I want to go down as a Saint for work with the less fortunate – even while the majority of my life has seen me as one of those less fortunate. I want to be remembered as humble, generous, hard working, intelligent and wise, as a mother, a Christian, and hopefully one day as a beloved wife. I want my writings – poetry, lyrics, fiction and non – to be read by my family and descendants so that they may have a deeper understanding of the person I was. I’m quite forgettable in reality, but I guess in the end, I just want to be remembered with love.

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2015 WEEK #40

SHARE YOUR WORLD – 2015 WEEK #40

I’m jumping in just a bit late here (OK 10 months late) because a: I just discovered these prompts and b: if I don’t start now, then when?

#1: If you have been to a foreign country name those you have been to?

I have skirted around Cuba and the Bahamas but the place I actually spent considerable time and never wanted to leave was Quintana Roo, MX. It was on a honeymoon cruise in 1997 and we entered Cozumel through Playa del Carmen. Admittedly, I was disappointed at first because it felt no different than being in Miami. The first thing I saw off the boat was a Burger King and a Daquiri bar popular in the ‘States. Liberating ourselves from the tourist trap however, we were transported into a whole new world of single lane dirt roads, quiet villages, and some of the nicest people I have ever met. Even with a language barrier, there was still understanding, kindness, generosity, and genuine welcome.

#2: Is the glass half empty or half full? What type of glass is it and what is in the glass?

This question has always irked me because it forces one to be judged in such a closed-ended, black-and-white manner that really isn’t realistic. Our moods change, our personalities change, our momentary stimulus changes and the answer can be different every time, leaving us wrongly judged because we are just being judged in the moment.

I see it this way: The glass is halfway to whichever direction the contents were traveling. If it was in the process of being filled, then it is half full. If it was in the process of being drank or poured out, then it is half empty. It isn’t about what *I* think. It’s about the facts happening around the situation and leading up to it. There are always other facts to consider. Is it half full or half empty? “It’s just half.”

Incidentally, it should contain a good, hearty, merlot.

#3: If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?

Sushi, hands down. It’s a dish that can be created endless ways under one label, it’s fresh, it’s clean food, and can be nutritionally dense. I could easily live off sushi.

List: List at least five places worth shopping.

As one who doesn’t shop often, this will be difficult…

1. Local farmer’s market (downtown, Saturdays)
2. Nelson Family Farms
3. Local artisans
4. Local art galleries
5. Any small business with a quality product or service

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I’m grateful I got to spend some quality time with my daughter, especially now that she is getting to the age between being a little girl and wanting her teenage freedom. This week coming up will be hella busy at work because open enrollment for Medicare Part D is starting, so we are gearing up with parties and all types of goodies for the crazy time ahead.

From Silence Came Wisdom

In Response To: Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound Of Silence

In life, I am a very sound-sensitive individual. Certain pitches and volumes that would normally just annoy most people physically hurt at times. Too many differing sounds make me want to cover my ears and scream (perfect example: heavy metal music or a loud television with unpredictable shifts in volume).

Several years ago, when I was actively involved in meeting with my spiritual guide on the astral plane through meditation, I was sitting in my apartment one night about to crawl out of my skin. I ran to the back of the building to escape the noises of the air conditioner, the TV and the cars outside…

I closed my eyes and immediately sought my Guide who was waiting for me and he tells me, “Let me be your peace.” He takes me into his arms piece by piece, frequency by frequency, we shut out all the noise. In silence, he has me spiritually enter a tall, strong oak tree in my neighbor’s back yard and I become one with it. He tells me to hear the heartbeat of the tree.

I say: I know this tree.

He says: “You know because you feel . You feel because you are. Now, what do you feel?”

I say: I feel the heartbeat, which pulses once in a year. Once in a season. The roots swell with the rains and with the force of life which will push up into new leaves and blooms. I feel its slow strength. I feel its serenity. I feel every memory. I feel the cold earth surrounding my feet. I feel my arms reaching high in its branches toward the sun. I feel the energies it draws in and those it puts out. I feel the force of life ever flowing. I feel the dark stillness inside the heartwood. I feel the rush of the wind. I feel the complexity of its internal patterns. I feel its age. I feel it holding strong to its will to survive. I feel its faith. I feel its health and its dis-ease. I feel its healed scars. I feel its perseverance. I feel its slow pulse and the reason for its longevity. I feel its patience.

My Guide tells me: “In the end, what you feel is the secret of life. You truly are awakened. You know. This is your wisdom – the way to peace, to knowledge, to those things that you cannot learn from man. You are one with nature, and it is one with you. This tree has allowed you inside its very core. It knows you are of good will, and it knows you possess the Gift. The others will all feel the mark of its energies within you, now that you have joined it as one. You are indeed a very special, precious child. I told you in the beginning you were gifted. Now you understand… this is what I meant. This is why you are here, because all your senses are in tune with the nature that surrounds you. In silence, you can communicate with nearly everything. Many of us cannot. Many of us only possess a special connection with certain entities but you, my dear, you have the ability to hear the trees, the spirits of nature, the spirits of men, the spirits of all that surrounds you.”

My Guide continues: “I know that you have lost faith in men (people), but do not lose faith in nature, for that is what you are here to protect. Mankind has destroyed itself and now settles into its death. Nature… it will survive, but it will need to be healed and to be able to heal it, we must be able to understand its needs above what we can already see with our eyes. We must also apply our minds to the energies it gives us and decode its secrets with an understanding that very few have managed to achieve.”

From silence came wisdom and with wisdom, the ability to understand the world around me with closed eyes and an open mind. Sometimes after all, we must close our eyes to truly see.

Daily Prompt: It’s Friday, I’m In Love

In response to: Daily Prompt – It’s Friday, I’m In Love

In actuality, it’s every day that I’m in love!  It isn’t something that’s easy or convenient, but it’s there, and it just won’t leave my heart alone – the feeling that I get thinking of my Hunny Bear, knowing that for the past four years, he has taken every tear, every stress, every hurt and turned them around into smiles, comfort and healing. Even though we are 1,000 miles apart, he holds my heart, touches my soul, brings warmth and meaning to my life.  Distance has not been easy at all, but Second Life and Skype bring us closer.  With these, we can cuddle, dance, run amok, explore, learn and so much else.  We grow closer with every face to face talk, with every piece of writing on which we collaborate, and with every moment of our lives that we share with each other, whether good, bad or mundane.  It’s those mundane moments that mean the most to me. Those are the real intimacies, the ones that leave us emotionally satisfied that we have someone with whom we can have any conversation, share anything without judgment.  He knows things about me most people don’t, and likewise I know things about him that just don’t get shared.  We have that trust that solidifies our relationship.  I’m certain we will be in each other’s arms one day.  In the meantime, I can rest at night with a satisfied heart that not only do I love, but I am loved, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day ❤

Two Hours

In response to: The Daily Post: Daily Prompt – Good Fences

In two hours, I will be relocating again.  Not far this time, but also not into the best area.  Today brings another “adventure” of clearing out my car, loading it up, moving belongings, unloading it, trying to organize my life – again.  And the cats… my God the cats hate moving.  There is a dog and two other cats in the new place.  Mine will be kept in my room for the time being as introductions to other animals are usually long and painful.  My big boy, he growls like a dog at anything he senses but can’t see.

Today brings a world without Internet for at least four days, as they can’t come out to connect it until Tuesday night and even then, with everything the house is going through, there might be issues in finding or installing lines and outlets.  I will be connecting minimally through the 4G on my phone and likely transcribing blog posts on the tiny virtual keyboard.  Tonight brings another night of trying to fall asleep in a new place, around new people. It’s sort of like a one-building commune type living situation.  The lady I’m moving in with is nice and she’s gone all out to make a comfortable space for me. Two others live there, her son and another man. I’m not terribly comfortable around men, but she’s given me the only bedroom with a door and a lock on it. The rest of the rooms – including the bathroom – as yet only have parted together drywall and blankets up for walls and doors.  The house is in a perpetual state of remodel, as it used to be a two-bedroom and has been gutted to be reconfigured into a four-bedroom. Rooms are now TINY.  However with all the loss that my life has seen over the past 14 months (actually over the past decade), my belongings have been reduced to only what I can fit in my car – and most not by choice.  Goodbye three bedroom house that Hurricane Frances took years ago – hello continued poverty.

This weekend also brings trying to get used to a new neighborhood, new people, new surroundings.  It doesn’t give the appearance of a neighborhood I’d want to walk around in alone.  It’s… older.  It’s pretty run down. It’s also surrounded by three major colleges, two within walking distance.  It reminds me of the projects in which I landed after my divorce in 2005.  Here, like there, I will have to make friends fast if I’m going to survive.  When I was in the projects in Fort Pierce, I immediately took to an elderly lady next door who everyone just called “Granny.”  Granny had been in that little house most of her 80+ years.  Everyone knew her and no one messed with her.  She looked after me the three years I stayed there and even after moving into a better place, my daughter and I still went back to visit her often.  She would always marvel at how big my daughter had gotten since the last time she saw her, even if it had only been a month between visits.  Granny was the best neighbor I have ever had.  I’m praying that my surroundings, while rough on first glance, will prove friendly enough that I don’t have to worry about the safety of myself or my belongings.

Daily Prompt Writing: The Nomadic Life

From the Daily Prompt: Rolling Stone

“If you could live a nomadic life, would you? Where would you go? How would you decide? What would life be like without a “home base”?”

This has always been a bit of a dream of mine, to live just to live, to enjoy experiences in life that aren’t possible within the constraints of a lease, a day job, shared custody and other limiting factors.  For a 40 year old who treasures new sights and experiences, meeting different people, photographing different areas and being immersed in different cultures, it must be said that I have gotten very few opportunities in life to do any of this.  The extent of my travels has been through the Carolinas, The Bahamas and Mexico.  All instances were limited by time and money and only left me wanting more.  To live as a nomad would still require some sort of stability – ironic, I know.  This means I would not want to live as a beggar but rather be able to earn a little money no matter where I went in order to remain self-sufficient (and fed!).  More than likely, I would take on some kind of art or craft and sell my talents at various events and festivals across the country, throughout the year. Part of those crafts could be hand-penned original inspirational poetry on parchment, ready to frame in someone’s study or bedroom.  Ideally, I would have a small RV in which I could keep my scant belongings and a bicycle to use for travel throughout the area of the moment.  I would of course need to remain tech savvy – Internet access would be vital as it is to nearly everyone today.  I would likely gather information on upcoming events and places to go from the web in order to keep short-term plans in order.  This would allow me to remain a wanderlust but one who would not be caught off guard by not having a place to park, sleep or sell crafts.  I wouldn’t say that there would be no “home base.”  I would have my RV – wherever it took me would be home.  The whole of the continental USA would be my home!  The beautiful thing about the Internet is that it brings people together no matter where they are, so losing touch with family and friends would not be an issue.  It would be a simple life, free of undue clutter, free of the feeling of being cooped up and held captive by societal constraints.  As a Sagittarius, this sort of nomadic life would be what my soul has always craved.  I am determined to one day see this to fruition.