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Two Hours

In response to: The Daily Post: Daily Prompt – Good Fences

In two hours, I will be relocating again.  Not far this time, but also not into the best area.  Today brings another “adventure” of clearing out my car, loading it up, moving belongings, unloading it, trying to organize my life – again.  And the cats… my God the cats hate moving.  There is a dog and two other cats in the new place.  Mine will be kept in my room for the time being as introductions to other animals are usually long and painful.  My big boy, he growls like a dog at anything he senses but can’t see.

Today brings a world without Internet for at least four days, as they can’t come out to connect it until Tuesday night and even then, with everything the house is going through, there might be issues in finding or installing lines and outlets.  I will be connecting minimally through the 4G on my phone and likely transcribing blog posts on the tiny virtual keyboard.  Tonight brings another night of trying to fall asleep in a new place, around new people. It’s sort of like a one-building commune type living situation.  The lady I’m moving in with is nice and she’s gone all out to make a comfortable space for me. Two others live there, her son and another man. I’m not terribly comfortable around men, but she’s given me the only bedroom with a door and a lock on it. The rest of the rooms – including the bathroom – as yet only have parted together drywall and blankets up for walls and doors.  The house is in a perpetual state of remodel, as it used to be a two-bedroom and has been gutted to be reconfigured into a four-bedroom. Rooms are now TINY.  However with all the loss that my life has seen over the past 14 months (actually over the past decade), my belongings have been reduced to only what I can fit in my car – and most not by choice.  Goodbye three bedroom house that Hurricane Frances took years ago – hello continued poverty.

This weekend also brings trying to get used to a new neighborhood, new people, new surroundings.  It doesn’t give the appearance of a neighborhood I’d want to walk around in alone.  It’s… older.  It’s pretty run down. It’s also surrounded by three major colleges, two within walking distance.  It reminds me of the projects in which I landed after my divorce in 2005.  Here, like there, I will have to make friends fast if I’m going to survive.  When I was in the projects in Fort Pierce, I immediately took to an elderly lady next door who everyone just called “Granny.”  Granny had been in that little house most of her 80+ years.  Everyone knew her and no one messed with her.  She looked after me the three years I stayed there and even after moving into a better place, my daughter and I still went back to visit her often.  She would always marvel at how big my daughter had gotten since the last time she saw her, even if it had only been a month between visits.  Granny was the best neighbor I have ever had.  I’m praying that my surroundings, while rough on first glance, will prove friendly enough that I don’t have to worry about the safety of myself or my belongings.

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OK Packing/Moving Tips Please….

Packing a two-bedroom apartment that is full to the brim with books and candles and crystals and stones and lots of little breakable things… lots of art supplies too… paints, pastels, charcoals, inks and pens…

Limited number of boxes and bags… SUPER HYPER 6-YEAR OLD…

Tossing out as much as I can, trying to minimize… a lot will be sold on eBay after I’m into the new place and the net is up… no time to do it now.

It’s taken me HOURS just to go thru and clean out just one book case.  Is there ANY way… to make this go quicker… easier…

I’m tackling the living room first, because that’s where the most stuff is… Kidlet’s room is next – goddess help me… I’m going to give HER the assignment of bagging the toys she no longer wants and we will drop them off at the Mustard Seed… at the moment though, she is asking me for a bubble bath saying “It will make my brain un-cursed. It will shut my brain off, and it will pull the curse off of me!”  Um… yikes.  Yeah we don’t work curses around here.  This is a Reiki house.  We do blessings and healings.  She’s creeping me out.

OK bath going… back to moving.  One room at a time… toss everything not needed… any other helpful tips to make this go smoother?

Cynicism Status Critical

Just not a good day today. Not a good WEEK. Let me start with Tuesday morning. 7:00 in the morning, I go to get my shower and nothing is coming out but brown drippy stuff from the faucet. Lovely. Called the utility company and they sent someone out pretty quickly. Dug up the meter and the lines, and the guy tested the pressure and it was fine. He however broke the line on the property that connects to the meter because it was so corroded and rusted out. The piece of pipe he cut away to replace, he showed me and I am saving it for the landlord (Century 21 of all people). The outside of the pipe is all rusted through, and the inside is so full of rust and corrosion that you cannot even see LIGHT through it. It’s almost completely closed off. That explains my no water pressure since I moved in there 3 years ago. Finally the pipes just gave out.

He patched what he could, and told me it’s actually the property owner’s responsibility. Well, the same thing has been happening for 2 years with my sewer line out front. It has clogged so many times from dirt and roots because it has channel rot and there’s basically no pipe LEFT. Sewage and drain water seeps out into the ground out front, nothing will drain. The tub after a bath takes overnight to go down. The kitchen sink flows out the emergency drain that’s hooked into the side of the house, flowing onto the ground instead of down into the city sewer. Virginia Pines has been told about this for 2 years, both my myself and by the plumbers that keep having to come out, and they refused to do anything about it. Century 21, when they bought the property from Virginia Pines, was also made aware, in writing, by both, and have refused to address it. Can they be sued for this? The place is unlivable.

So this prompted me to rent the first place I could find, the cheapest one at $125 a week. One bedroom, not too bad, still more than I can afford but definitely in a safer area. The landlord however has already made comments about getting me in bed. I have to move in there this weekend, my lease starts Friday.

Finances aside, physically moving is the other issue. I have NO ONE to help me. All the people around here that I have been friends with, all the ones I’ve helped — now that I need honest help because I can’t lift furniture and have nothing to get it to the new place in — nothing but a volley of excuses from them. Some disappear completely. I don’t understand what is wrong with people. They just take and take and when someone needs, they turn their backs.

So basically unless someone comes through to me, I’m going to be without furniture. I might be able to fit the futon mattress in the car if I can fold and roll it but I’m not sure — PT Cruisers are TINY. Computer will be on the floor. Everything will be on the floor. I might could make the hall closet into a makeshift bookshelf, idk. Not like I am rich in towels or linens anyway. I just don’t damn know. All I know is I have never NEVER felt THIS ALONE in my life.

This whole situation has left me very cold, very hard, very cynical, and it’s not a nice place to be in your heart. I am pissed off. I am frustrated. I am struggling. I need physical help. And no one is there. I am reminded again of why I was a hermit for so many years in the 90’s. Because people were just the same back then.

I had to come this week to a very tough realization that I’m not gonna be able to provide any further help for anyone from now on IF IT MEANS that it is taking away from me — my food, my funds, my gas… I have gone without basic things to provide them for others who call themselves friends, and family, and all they have done is taken it and disappeared, even though they have known me for years. Call me selfish, call me a bitch, call me what you will — I can’t be there for you. Not until I am stable on MY OWN FEET. But with no one helping me, I can’t help anyone else.

The only thing I can continue is my counseling of others and those requesting help are coming through my website and owe me nothing. The counseling is just part of my title of Reverend. It’s just what I do when needed.  That aspect of assistance remains professional, anonymous, and without judgement.  Anything else, otherwise…. I just can’t. I have to survive and right now, I’m not.

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