Category Archives: Love
In response to: Daily Prompt – It’s Friday, I’m In Love
In actuality, it’s every day that I’m in love! It isn’t something that’s easy or convenient, but it’s there, and it just won’t leave my heart alone – the feeling that I get thinking of my Hunny Bear, knowing that for the past four years, he has taken every tear, every stress, every hurt and turned them around into smiles, comfort and healing. Even though we are 1,000 miles apart, he holds my heart, touches my soul, brings warmth and meaning to my life. Distance has not been easy at all, but Second Life and Skype bring us closer. With these, we can cuddle, dance, run amok, explore, learn and so much else. We grow closer with every face to face talk, with every piece of writing on which we collaborate, and with every moment of our lives that we share with each other, whether good, bad or mundane. It’s those mundane moments that mean the most to me. Those are the real intimacies, the ones that leave us emotionally satisfied that we have someone with whom we can have any conversation, share anything without judgment. He knows things about me most people don’t, and likewise I know things about him that just don’t get shared. We have that trust that solidifies our relationship. I’m certain we will be in each other’s arms one day. In the meantime, I can rest at night with a satisfied heart that not only do I love, but I am loved, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day ❤
My sweetheart really does know how to make my day…
Before Will, I’d never really had a Valentine. But for the past few years, he has just kept outdoing himself on Valentine’s Day, this year with a dozen roses, orchids, so many other flowers in there… the photo doesn’t do them justice, they are… WOW… and the bear… He *is* my Hunny Bear! And the card and the chocolate… I am feeling very spoiled! And loved ❤
Well despite the fact that my commissions were crap last week and I barely had bill money, nevermind any going-out money, I still had a pretty good weekend. Friday night, Dan wanted to come over so we went out for a little bit, got a few drinks, came back to watch a movie. He fell asleep during it – I mean totally crashed – so I let him doze while I talked to a buddy online. But… I was feeling frisky. I didn’t *mean* to wake him up when I got into bed but… Hehe it was by far his best performance yet. …til 6a.m. He finally pulled me close and we fell asleep together, woke up in his arms later on and just lay there studying every curve and rise and line of his sweet face in the morning light. He stirred, looked at me for a moment, held onto me tighter and went back to sleep, as did I, smiling. It was so nice.
later Saturday, a friend had posted some pictures on facebook of a man’s phone number scribbled on a piece of paper and tossed on the ground. From there began a conversation thread about “The sad tale of Matt,” in which numerous people wrote creating a fateful story surrounding the dropped digits. I added my part, but I was curious, so I sent a text to the number, advising what was happening. After about an hour conversation with the guy, we figured out what had happened (which was completely innocent) and we had my friend remove the posts. The guy was PISSED – not at me, but at the fact his number was in facebook so out of context from what had actually conspired. (His girlfriend was none too happy either at the speculations it generated!) the funny part is, out of the whole thing, I ended up making 3 new friends 🙂
Saturday night, I ended up going Downtown but there was nothing really going on, so I headed home after an hour or so of doing photos. Ended up enjoying a surprise when D got in touch with me and had another amazing night – another all-nighter, goddess help me. The man is pure passion. His words, they would melt even the coldest if hearts. We seem to be getting quite close and are great friends, though a relationship with him is not possible at this time. He has too much else going on. But… I’m still enjoying it. Ever since Andy left, it seems my popularity and social life have returned full force, and I am back into life. It’s wonderful.
Last night D earned a dozen golden cupcakes the way he played along and perfectly executed a plan to save me from certain hellfire. I’d gone to the river front just to chill and write for a bit and was watching some kids fishing when their dad came to sit beside me and struck up a conversation. He jokingly handed me a million dollar bill and told me to read it when I got home. …ok? We talked about local fishing, local history, things I could discuss forever. He offered me some gum – no thanks. He offered me an IQ test. …What? Things were getting weird now. He asked me if I believe in God. Oh no… I tried to steer the conversation, but he wouldn’t budge. Where do I think we go when we die? Knowing he wouldn’t understand or accept ANY of my views on this matter, I BS’d my way through the conversation until he turned away to tend to a fish and quickly texted D. “Bible thumper! Save me!” D called me just in time, I answered on speaker phone. He said, “Heeyyyy wanna hang out?” “Sure! Where ya at?” “I’m at home, can you come pick me up?” “Sure! Be there in 10!” And such was my escape… Bible guy says, “Well, looks like you have things to do. Guess we’ll pack it in.” “Yep!” You never saw me fly out of the Marina so fast. I was saved!!! By my tall dark and handsome! Oh it was perfectly done. I love u forever Daisuke!!!!! Man I owe him for that one. We laughed about it all night. The back of the million dollar bill told me I was going to hell. But as D put it, “Well, at least you’re not the only one!”
Fun weekend 🙂
Had a pretty full weekend here for a change, it was nice 🙂 Friday, Joe had to run over to Tampa for a family thing, but practically rushed back late Friday night to be able to come over (and woke me up when he did lol, although he *did* demand I take a nap before he got here). We were up til 5:30, it was great. At one point, we were standing out front for a smoke and I in my skirt and tank top was literally shivering but didn’t want to battle the kitten and dog trying to run out just to go in and get my jacket. Joe actually took off his shirt and offered it to me. Well, I didn’t know what to think of that, so I just said, “no really, I’m fine!” A little more shivering and he kinda playfully glared at me, went into his truck and pulled out my favourite hoodie (his big grey one) and made me put it on. Oh man, I was in heaven – it’s too big for me and smells like him. Then he wrapped his arms around me and I was warm and cozy and held tight – I haven’t felt that good in so long. We did go back inside eventually to watch a movie, but that got interrupted by other things… finally went to sleep just before sun-up.
Two hours later, Littlebit comes ambling out of the bedroom to find us deeply passed out on the futon. She managed to wake me up long enough to tell her yes, she could get breakfast and go on the computer. (She loves making her own breakfast, it makes her feel self-sufficient. Many times, she offers to make mine too and she does great!) I made it out of bed around 10 and let Joe sleep in a little longer. I loved watching him sleep, he was so tired 🙂 Had to force myself not to crawl back into bed with him though, it would have been too warm and cozy, I would have fallen back asleep and we had things to do!
Alyn had invited us out to a Civil War Reenactment that he was doing Saturday, so we all got ourselves together and headed cross-county to the Boys and Girl’s Club where they had the event. It was small, not a big turnout, but then it was put together in a short time and wasn’t very well advertised. Also, the cannon crew didn’t show up, so that was a disappointment. We had fun though, and there were quite a few older Veterans there happy to share their own war stories, passed down through generations in their own families. Nelson Winbush (center, below) held Joe captive in conversation for a good half hour as they discussed the history of African Americans as soldiers in the Civil War. You can view the Wikipedia article on his Grandfather HERE. Joe was right at home in the topic, as he wants to work to become a History professor. Ashamedly, I don’t know much about history. My interest was always in the Sciences, so I found myself mulling over the medical table for quite some time, mentally conjuring up the uses for the varied powders still in their original vials. I did have to keep my eyes away from the double-edged skin/bone saw however… the thought of amputation in the field just gave me chills.
After the event wound down, we three headed out to the island for a late lunch and I was thrilled to see the Hurricane was back open after several months being closed for renovations. We miraculously landed a parking spot over by the jetty side and walked over for a good meal, then took a walk down the beach and out the jetty. The seas were exceptionally rough on the north side of the inlet, and the kite sailors were taking advantage of the strong winds. It was beautiful out, but Joe’s back was starting to hurt pretty bad (he’s had a couple major surgeries on it in the past 4 years), so we headed back to the apartment after a full day running around outside.
Back at home, Joe was in a lot of pain so he needed to head home and take something for his back and get some rest. Alyn had stopped over briefly to bring us a loaf of homemade banana nut bread (yummy!) but he wasn’t able to stay as he had a sun headache and had to give his sister a ride to work, so we called it a night.
Today is looking to be our typically lazy Sunday (and much-needed). Laundry calls, as well as a good scrub down of the dog. Maybe if Alyn is feeling better this afternoon, we can have a little fire out back and I’ll make some Chicken Alfredo for dinner.
Perblog November 6, 2010
Well I have had a pretty chaotic past couple weekends. Last
Friday, Andy flaked out again and disappeared. Again. He’s
not mentally stable, he’s a pathological liar, and he just
wasted the last year and a half of my life. I hope his guilt
kills him, out there all alone in life. It was his fuckup.
I forgave the first two. The boy just didn’t learn. I have
never been so disappointed in anyone or seen such a huge
culmination of failings in anyone else in my life. I guess
that’s what I get for being patient and having faith.
The next morning, Joe and I started talking about dating and
relationships – all day – and he came over for Halloween.
What an awesome night (except that Kari was wired on Hallowen
candy and wouldn’t go to bed and leave us *alone*…) Things
have been developing more as we talked all week and we’re
gonna give it a try.
He came over again last night and… well I lasted til 5 a.m.
LOL… We had planned to go to breakfast today but ended up
sleeping in til after 12:30 – the Farmer’s Market was already
packed up and gone for the day. So, we ended up going to
Uncle Carlo’s for lunch and took it over to the sea wall
where we ate on the water and spent some really nice time
together. We got back to the house and he had to get back
home for a family thing, but… had to go another round lol
and ended up back in bed making him even *more* late getting
So yeh… I’m seeing someone. He doesn’t know what he wants and IDK where it’ll go but, he calls me every night, he shows up when he says he will, wants to keep seeing me, misses me when he doesn’t and… well it’s the most normalcy I’ve had in many years.
Found out via Myspace again what happened with Clarence. His latest status update from Friday states, “my sister had me arrested over BS. This has been the worst week of my life.”. Ever since his mother passed (which I also had to find about through Myspace ), he’s completely withdrawn from me. We used to be friends, we used to hang out, even if it was just stargazing or a drive up to the corner store… a couple times over the past year and a half, he’s talked me down from… Dangerous thoughts and feelings. We’ve been there for each other. I guess that era has come to a close now though after his little verbal lashing of me last week followed by completely shutting me out. Time to let Clarence revel in his own misery and chase his own anti-dreams and find someone new to look up to. How do you look up to someone who is so deep in an emotional abyss that you can no longer reach them? I miss you C…
As the air warms, so does the heart. The approaching Spring has Andy only a few weeks from his Degree and from home. The excitement makes time fly while the anticipation makes it crawl. I just want to close my eyes and settle back into his arms and exhale. 8 months we’ve been apart. Far too long. The closer he gets, the more the thoughts of marriage invade my day. He’s the one I just could not say no to. Every other proposal in the past was either a “yeah right” or a “WTF am I doing?” There was never a hesitation when Andy asked me on New Years Eve. We’d already talked about it, and it only ever felt positive. He’s earned my trust and my heart. I’m excited over looking into his eyes when he says “I do,” over changing my name, over going to apply for the license together, over organizing our lives to include each other in every aspect… but especially over being in a marriage where I have no doubts my partner really loves me unconditionally and wants to be in it with me through thick and thin. I look forward to family, stability and oneness, to completing my home and my life the way it should be, the way it needs to be without all the abuse and neglect and he’ll I’ve been put through by everyone else I’ve been with. It’s been a long, hard road, but I think I’ve finally found him, and home.
So yeah, random flashback… I’m doing a crossword puzzle earlier and the clue is “foam or froth at sea.”. (sorry, my iPod inserts that extra period outside the quotation and I’ve no idea how to make it stop doing that.) Anyhow, it just reminded me of a 3rd grade field trip where my BFF Tanya and I were playing in the water at Fort Lauderdale Beach. Each time the waves would break around us, she would say to the ocean, “thank you for showing us your sizzles!” Hehe, we’re talking 1979 here. Odd memory to have.
They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb… Well in East Central FL, it came in more like a polar bear. Waking temps on the first day of March here were in the mid-30’s, totally uncharacteristic for this area this time of year.
Andy and I are doing great. Word just came up that he also believes in ghosts and the astral whatnots so that is just another thing to bring us closer. We have every night been working on projections together and they have come with great success. We’re able to go out seperately and meet together confirming the same experiences, as well as going out together, feeling each others touches and emotions. It’s beautiful, it’s strong and it let’s us never be apart.
One certain person who likes to think she has caused me to be blocked from doing this has failed. I won’t laugh though, all I can really feel for her is pity that she spends her energy trying to cast others down and cause them pain. The Universe will not let the balance be upset. Those whose work and intent is for the greater good will continue on in their practices, and it will continue to ire the ones whose intent is for the darker things. I for one am too solidly established in my beliefs and practices to allow one spiteful little girl control of my life. It just won’t happen. It simply isn’t possible. Sadly, I don’t think she or others will ever realize this because they are too blinded by their own quest for power. What they also fail to understand is the power they seek is far too large for them to be able to manipulate, let alone control. It exists as a Universal energy and is there to keep balance. No one person, no army has the ability to control this. The few who have learned to grasp some of it have fallen under it and been consumed. Better off just being good to people and toward the world. At least that’s the way I live. It comes more natural that way. Evil takes too much energy. Good energy just comes 🙂
We’re fully into our fire season now and as I stand on the balcony looking west, a huge wall of smoke can be seen rising over the tree line. It’s many miles out, but it’s starting to haze up over this way and looks to be a pretty broad burn. I sent a couple pics of the smoke line to my Facebook, but my phone doesn’t accept Twitter. I have to do that when I get home. Still not sure if it was a prescribed burn or a quick up thru the brush but we are under a long list of fire warnings currently. Doesn’t take much to spark one, that’s for sure!
[18:48] Madame Zora: Pay me L$5 to know your fate.
[18:48] Madame Zora: Jyllie Nightfire, please state your question. You have about 30 seconds.
[18:48] Jyllie Nightfire: Is Andy my true love?
[18:48] Madame Zora: Let me consult the oh-so-magical cards…
[18:48] Madame Zora: Very doubtful.
[18:48] TigerZak Lorefield: :O
[18:48] Jyllie Nightfire: !
[18:49] TigerZak Lorefield: *smashes the box*
[18:49] Jyllie Nightfire: i want my 5 bucks back!
[18:49] Jyllie Nightfire: pfft not from u silly
[18:50] TigerZak Lorefield: o,0
[18:51] Madame Zora: Jyllie Nightfire, please state your question. You have about 30 seconds.
[18:51] Jyllie Nightfire: Am I Andy’s True Love?
[18:51] Madame Zora: Let me consult the oh-so-magical cards…
[18:51] Madame Zora: Yes.
[18:51] Jyllie Nightfire: GOOD! Then he’s MINE too!
[18:51] TigerZak Lorefield: 🙂
[18:51] Jyllie Nightfire: win for us
[18:52] Jyllie Nightfire: ok. 2 outta 3.
[18:52] Madame Zora: Jyllie Nightfire, please state your question. You have about 30 seconds.
[18:52] Jyllie Nightfire: Is Andy my True Love?
[18:52] Madame Zora: Let me consult the oh-so-magical cards…
[18:52] Madame Zora: Very doubtful.
[18:52] Jyllie Nightfire: WHAT THE??
[18:53] Jyllie Nightfire: THEN WHO IS??????
[18:53] Jyllie Nightfire: *KICKS*
[18:53] TigerZak Lorefield: XD
[18:53] TigerZak Lorefield: thats like odd.
[18:53] Jyllie Nightfire: hmph
[18:53] Jyllie Nightfire: i dun like it
[18:53] Jyllie Nightfire: *clings*
[18:53] TigerZak Lorefield: Unless for some reason you end up not liking me. but I still love you. and its like all stalkery
[18:53] Jyllie Nightfire: HOW would i not like you?
[18:53] Jyllie Nightfire: I LOVE YOU!
[18:54] TigerZak Lorefield: 😀
Stupid fortune tellers.