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Two Hours

In response to: The Daily Post: Daily Prompt – Good Fences

In two hours, I will be relocating again.  Not far this time, but also not into the best area.  Today brings another “adventure” of clearing out my car, loading it up, moving belongings, unloading it, trying to organize my life – again.  And the cats… my God the cats hate moving.  There is a dog and two other cats in the new place.  Mine will be kept in my room for the time being as introductions to other animals are usually long and painful.  My big boy, he growls like a dog at anything he senses but can’t see.

Today brings a world without Internet for at least four days, as they can’t come out to connect it until Tuesday night and even then, with everything the house is going through, there might be issues in finding or installing lines and outlets.  I will be connecting minimally through the 4G on my phone and likely transcribing blog posts on the tiny virtual keyboard.  Tonight brings another night of trying to fall asleep in a new place, around new people. It’s sort of like a one-building commune type living situation.  The lady I’m moving in with is nice and she’s gone all out to make a comfortable space for me. Two others live there, her son and another man. I’m not terribly comfortable around men, but she’s given me the only bedroom with a door and a lock on it. The rest of the rooms – including the bathroom – as yet only have parted together drywall and blankets up for walls and doors.  The house is in a perpetual state of remodel, as it used to be a two-bedroom and has been gutted to be reconfigured into a four-bedroom. Rooms are now TINY.  However with all the loss that my life has seen over the past 14 months (actually over the past decade), my belongings have been reduced to only what I can fit in my car – and most not by choice.  Goodbye three bedroom house that Hurricane Frances took years ago – hello continued poverty.

This weekend also brings trying to get used to a new neighborhood, new people, new surroundings.  It doesn’t give the appearance of a neighborhood I’d want to walk around in alone.  It’s… older.  It’s pretty run down. It’s also surrounded by three major colleges, two within walking distance.  It reminds me of the projects in which I landed after my divorce in 2005.  Here, like there, I will have to make friends fast if I’m going to survive.  When I was in the projects in Fort Pierce, I immediately took to an elderly lady next door who everyone just called “Granny.”  Granny had been in that little house most of her 80+ years.  Everyone knew her and no one messed with her.  She looked after me the three years I stayed there and even after moving into a better place, my daughter and I still went back to visit her often.  She would always marvel at how big my daughter had gotten since the last time she saw her, even if it had only been a month between visits.  Granny was the best neighbor I have ever had.  I’m praying that my surroundings, while rough on first glance, will prove friendly enough that I don’t have to worry about the safety of myself or my belongings.

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Daily Prompt: Simply The Best

This post is in response to: Daily Prompt: Simply the Best | http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/daily-prompt-best/

Where do you do your best thinking?

My mind is one of those that always seems to be going non-stop, even when I’m trying to get to sleep (sometimes especially then).  To make it all make sense takes special focus.  It takes actual pen and paper to chart out those processes, expand them, tie them together, and condense them in an organized, easy to tend manner.  While thoughts on everything from finances to short story ideas come in a mudslide, my key to gaining this coveted organization is sensory deprivation – or as close as I can get to achieving that.

This state of thought can rarely be achieved at home. With seven or more people in the house at any given time, there is rarely any quiet, much less a time of few to no distractions.  Our back yard provides a very temporary haven to sort things out as we have a large fire pit set far enough back that household cacophony does not reach.  It does seem though that every time I retreat to the fire pit for some brain-time, soon someone realizes I am back there and comes to hang out, the rest following shortly after they’ve realized the first is missing.

Alternately, beautiful shorelines are all around me.  Be it a small lake, a creek, river, or beachside, there is always somewhere I can go if I have the gas to get there.  The area around the library is one of my favourite places to sit and sort. If one view becomes monotonous, another is only a couple minutes’ walk away.  People don’t bother you much out there, aside from the expected nod, smile and “good morning!” as they pass you walking.  Being surrounded by natural scenes allows my mind to pause, take in the simplest of sounds, sights and smells, and stop long enough to think on paper, one topic at a time.  Nature gives me the space I need for my body and soul to just breathe and just that in itself helps everything fall into order.  Oddly, the darker, rainier, stormier it is, the more creative the thoughts become.  Until of course every hair on my body starts to tingle, then my only thought is “Lightning – Shelter!” *winks*

The only time it becomes impossible to think straight is when I am under extreme stress, and I have had my share of that.  When depression starts to creep in over the things causing stress, there is no place or situation that seems to help me think.  In fact, thinking when I am feeling depressed is something I try to avoid because it tends to begin a downward spiral which only ends badly unless by some miracle something happens to pull me out of it.  Likewise, I try like hell to avoid making decisions or plans under pressure.  Those are the ones we tend to regret the most.

So nature, every bit my thinking box, especially when the calming energy of water surrounds me.  Your turn – Where do YOU do your best thinking?

 

From The Worst Year Comes The Best Christmas…

My Daddycat is Home!!!!!

Is Luvs

Is Luvs

Dylan finally arrived in my arms on December 29th at 2 a.m. after 2 days on a bus with countless delays and OMG. Christmas may have been a few days late this year but Kari and I couldn’t have gotten a better gift than that big family hug after he hurried over weighed down with luggage, smile and eyes lit up like they were.

Angels n Daemons LOL

Angels n Daemons LOL

Well we have been running nonstop with Kari which is the main reason I haven’t been online in a week. We’ve also been catching up and spending every waking moment together until work and school starts back on the 5th. He brought with him a beautiful lapis and silver ring that was made for the occasion, and we finalized and sealed our custom-written handfasting on the 1st, under the stars with our guardians watching over us as faces in the clouds – and the wind didn’t even blow out the candle until we released the guardians. (I know I just lost like 80% of the people reading this like “the who? wha?”) So we start the New Year with a bind, a deep-rooted promise, the protection of our Guardians, and the Universe being witness to our love and intent.

Also yesterday since my mom has no computer, we printed off about 5 dozen pictures to mail down to her. She’s a bit in disbelief herself. Can’t blame her, I was too. Not only at him making it back down, but as she put it, “I thought you were never getting married again?” Yeah well… The handfasting came in October… the final binds came last night… the legalities come soon enough. We need to wait a bit on that because he may need to return to NJ to do one more semester on his degree — I hope to god not, I will DIE if I have to be away from him any more. Honestly, it will not be pretty. Me + alone = BAD. I will lose it. But — hopefully things will work out and it can be finished here. I don’t want to think about it… no more time apart… can’t take it.

For some reason Beyonce is *still* running through my head… song… stuck… can’t… get… it… out… “If ya like it then ya shoulda put a ring on it… If ya like it then ya shoulda put a ring on it…” OK I’m good now. Musical tourettes.

Ah, I hear shifting in the back… at least one of my sleepy kitties must finally be up >^..^<

Blissful Kitties

Blissful Kitties

Daddycat n Babycat

Daddycat n Babycat

Dylan and I

Dylan and I