Hello, friends. Please bear with me while I vent. Maybe you can even relate a thing or two to your own experiences and silently lend support with a shake of the head and a sighed, “Been there…”
So yesterday was a MONDAY. It was a Monday to the extent that I tweeted an exasperated:
It took no less than a half hour to get my sleep-through-a-nuclear-annihilation child out of bed in the morning. No matter how early she is sent to bed, every Monday morning is still a battle, some worse than others. We ended up running late in getting her back to her dad’s house but after we’d left, it came to realization that she’d forgotten her notebook of homework so we had to turn around and get it.
I barely skidded into work on time and no sooner did I sit down at my desk to log into the phone did my team leader come by, “I’m sorry, I have to send you home to change.” What the? See, during the summer, the dress code is pretty lax, with shorts and hats allowed in the call center. Friday however, apparently an e-mail had gone out notifying staff that we had corporate company coming this week and were on a “business casual” dress code – no shorts, jeans, hats, etc. This notice went out at 4:45 p.m. on Friday – my shift ends at 4:30. Brilliant. Trying not to miss *too* much time, I lead-footed it home and ended up getting stuck waiting for one of the Tropicana trains that snakes slowly across several intersections in the neighborhood, leaving no way around it. I get home, I change, RUSH back to work, log in 32 minutes late and start having trouble breathing.
Rummaging through my purse, I cannot find my inhaler (I have chronic asthma) – Ok, I’m thinking, I’m going to drop dead at my desk. Calls are pouring in, I’m trying not to sound like a pervert breathing heavily on the phone and trying to basically meditate myself out of this asthma attack between calls. I make it through to lunch and call the pharmacy who has been trying to reach my doctor for an inhaler refill for two weeks now. They still haven’t gotten a response but the pharmacist offers to try calling her directly to get an emergency refill. I only made it until 2:30 when I could no longer talk on the phone and had to flag down my team leader to tell her I needed to go get a breathing treatment. She said I could leave but would have one “occurrence” against me. This is essentially their writing me up. We are not allowed any time off for anything, period. Screw it. Breathing is kind of important. I drive myself to the hospital and decide to take one last look through my purse, dumping the entire contents out onto the passenger seat. Wouldn’t you know it, there stuck in the *lining* of my bag is my inhaler. I contemplated going in for a treatment anyway because by then the asthma attack was so bad the inhaler wasn’t working fast enough but I eventually did get it under control. As I was pulling out of the hospital parking lot, I get a call from the pharmacy that my prescription is in. Of course, the price of it ended up being too much for me to afford this week so I would have been screwed anyway.
The majority of my bad day ended there thankfully. I did leave out one bit that I didn’t think needed to be aired here, but still… yesterday was one of those, “Enough already!” moments when I just wanted to break down and cry and be held. But of course crying would only give me a headache and there is no one to hold me anyway, so I just kept pushing through it all begging for it to end. Anyway… signing it off here, writing off yesterday as just another day in hell and waiting to see what kind of mood the roommate is in once he wakes up. Then again, with him just staggering out of the bedroom, my asking him, “How you feeling?” and his response being a sinister, “Don’t. Talk….” I can see how this night is going to go.
Just bitching here… daughter came home sick on Friday… fever, cough, nastynose… for days I was having to get after her for coughing and sneezing on me, *spraying* me with spittle and germs… she knows better… she wanted to be rude… and now I am sick as a dog with a cold that’s gone straight to my chest, giving me asthma problems… I told her… use a tissue… cover your mouth… turn your head… I told her if I got sick it would be very bad… and now it is… it’s like she did it purposely… she would laugh when she sprayed her sneezes all over me, right in my face, it was disgusting… what the hell is wrong with her???
4 years ago, my daughter’s father filed for divorce in order to be with his 3 or 4 girlfriends without my “complaining” about his abuse and cheating, and my daughter, now 6, still hasn’t recovered.
It’s easier just to post the chat in… I was catching up with my confidant. He’s a dad, he’s like my adoptive dad, and he has been following the situation closely since I can remember, always looking for ways he can help.
[19:08] Me: oh i haven’t spoken with you since yesterday huh
[19:09] Me: got a voice mail last night that i was not happy about
[19:09] EL: oh?
[19:09] Me: and it didn’t show up til about 6 hours after it was left
[19:10] Me: kari’s dad called me, telling me she had an “episode” at school
[19:10] Me: kicking, screaming, crying that she wanted me, refused to go with her father when he picked her up (it’s his weekend)
[19:11] Me: they ended up in the nurse and then the principal’s office, had to call nikki down there (the stepmom) to calm her down because she *refused* to go home with scott
[19:11] Me: THEY DIDN’T BOTHER CALLING ME NOOOOOO
[19:11] Me: she kept screaming that she didn’t want to go with him
[19:12] Me: monday morning when i dropped her off at his house, i told her “your dad has you next weekend, but i’ll see you after that”
[19:12] Me: so it’s not like she didn’t know, and he said “will you please let your child know that i AM entitled to one weekend a month…”
[19:13] Me: now kari knows the schedule, we’ve talked about it thoroughly many times, she’s even showed me her mom-time and dad-time on the calendar, so she does understand
[19:13] EL: he said “your child”
[19:13] Me: yes, he did
[19:13] Me: is on my voice mail
[19:13] EL: she is yours you know.
[19:14] Me: oh i know it
[19:14] EL: always will be.
[19:14] Me: and up til now she’s dealt with it pretty well. she doesn’t like it, but she’s accepted it
[19:15] Me: everybody was already in bed by the time i got the voice mail come through, it was almost midnight, but i told him to have kari call me in the morning (today) if she was still upset
[19:15] Me: they never called
[19:16] Me: you’re a dad, what do you make of it?
[19:17] Me: (and a quite awesome one if i do say so myself)
[19:19] EL: kids get ideas in their heads sometimes that don’t make sense to adults
[19:19] EL: i bet they didn’t call today cause she was totally fine.
[19:19] Me: it’s not the first time she hasn’t wanted to go to him though, and fought over it
[19:20] Me: talking about him, she’s never happy
[19:20] Me: am i over-worrying?
[19:22] EL: i can’t tell you that – i’m not there to see how she is.
[19:23] Me: unfortunately neither am i
[19:23] EL: you will have to use your best judgement – maybe not do anything just yet, but pay attention.
[19:24] Me: next time i pick her up i am definitely going to take her aside for a heart-to-heart and see what’s going on in that little head
[19:27] EL: yeah – but make sure it’s light – kids will tell you what they think you want to hear.
[19:27] EL: don’t let her suspect you have any animosity towards scott.
[19:36] Me: never do
[19:37] Me: although she’s been here when he’s called me cussing me out
[19:37] EL: well you can’t stop her making her own judgements, but you have to not be obviously trying to influence them
[19:37] Me: and idk kari’s been pretty damned honest and open with me ever since i can remember
[19:38] Me: most important thing is she knows she can trust me and she knows i don’t judge her, so that has kept her very open when we talk
[19:39] Me: i am pissed that they didn’t try to get a hold of me sooner though, i would have gone down to the school
[19:39] Me: but the voice mail was stamped 6:00 and she gets picked up at 4
[19:40] Me: hell with that the *school* should have called me
[19:40] EL: yes they should have
[19:45] Me: i think i need a hug
[19:47] EL: yeah – sending one your way
[19:47] EL: and…… >:D<
[19:48] Me: 🙂 ur so sweet
Yes, I ramble when I’m venting….