The Joys (not) Of Divorce…
4 years ago, my daughter’s father filed for divorce in order to be with his 3 or 4 girlfriends without my “complaining” about his abuse and cheating, and my daughter, now 6, still hasn’t recovered.
It’s easier just to post the chat in… I was catching up with my confidant. He’s a dad, he’s like my adoptive dad, and he has been following the situation closely since I can remember, always looking for ways he can help.
[19:08] Me: oh i haven’t spoken with you since yesterday huh
[19:09] Me: got a voice mail last night that i was not happy about
[19:09] EL: oh?
[19:09] Me: and it didn’t show up til about 6 hours after it was left
[19:10] Me: kari’s dad called me, telling me she had an “episode” at school
[19:10] Me: kicking, screaming, crying that she wanted me, refused to go with her father when he picked her up (it’s his weekend)
[19:11] Me: they ended up in the nurse and then the principal’s office, had to call nikki down there (the stepmom) to calm her down because she *refused* to go home with scott
[19:11] Me: THEY DIDN’T BOTHER CALLING ME NOOOOOO
[19:11] Me: she kept screaming that she didn’t want to go with him
[19:12] Me: monday morning when i dropped her off at his house, i told her “your dad has you next weekend, but i’ll see you after that”
[19:12] Me: so it’s not like she didn’t know, and he said “will you please let your child know that i AM entitled to one weekend a month…”
[19:13] Me: now kari knows the schedule, we’ve talked about it thoroughly many times, she’s even showed me her mom-time and dad-time on the calendar, so she does understand
[19:13] EL: he said “your child”
[19:13] Me: yes, he did
[19:13] Me: is on my voice mail
[19:13] EL: she is yours you know.
[19:14] Me: oh i know it
[19:14] EL: always will be.
[19:14] Me: and up til now she’s dealt with it pretty well. she doesn’t like it, but she’s accepted it
[19:15] Me: everybody was already in bed by the time i got the voice mail come through, it was almost midnight, but i told him to have kari call me in the morning (today) if she was still upset
[19:15] Me: they never called
[19:16] Me: you’re a dad, what do you make of it?
[19:17] Me: (and a quite awesome one if i do say so myself)
[19:19] EL: kids get ideas in their heads sometimes that don’t make sense to adults
[19:19] EL: i bet they didn’t call today cause she was totally fine.
[19:19] Me: it’s not the first time she hasn’t wanted to go to him though, and fought over it
[19:20] Me: talking about him, she’s never happy
[19:20] Me: am i over-worrying?
[19:22] EL: i can’t tell you that – i’m not there to see how she is.
[19:23] Me: unfortunately neither am i
[19:23] EL: you will have to use your best judgement – maybe not do anything just yet, but pay attention.
[19:24] Me: next time i pick her up i am definitely going to take her aside for a heart-to-heart and see what’s going on in that little head
[19:27] EL: yeah – but make sure it’s light – kids will tell you what they think you want to hear.
[19:27] EL: don’t let her suspect you have any animosity towards scott.
[19:36] Me: never do
[19:37] Me: although she’s been here when he’s called me cussing me out
[19:37] EL: well you can’t stop her making her own judgements, but you have to not be obviously trying to influence them
[19:37] Me: and idk kari’s been pretty damned honest and open with me ever since i can remember
[19:38] Me: most important thing is she knows she can trust me and she knows i don’t judge her, so that has kept her very open when we talk
[19:39] Me: i am pissed that they didn’t try to get a hold of me sooner though, i would have gone down to the school
[19:39] Me: but the voice mail was stamped 6:00 and she gets picked up at 4
[19:40] Me: hell with that the *school* should have called me
[19:40] EL: yes they should have
[19:45] Me: i think i need a hug
[19:47] EL: yeah – sending one your way
[19:47] EL: and…… >:D<
[19:48] Me: 🙂 ur so sweet
Yes, I ramble when I’m venting….