News from the Frozen South

It’s official, Dylan has moved in 🙂 .  In a way, I figured he would as he brought every shred of clothing he had, and a ring.  There was still the issue of his degree which he was pursuing up north however.  Since we found out a new truth about that though, and it can easily enough be continued down here, and the only other reasons to go back were to play Switzerland between his parents’ war, he’s made the decision to stay here with us as we all try to start over.  Come to find out now there would have been no college to go back to anyhow as an error by his mother in not filing certain paperwork needed on the scholarship caused him to LOSE the scholarship completely. 

It’s been a virtual Jerry Springer show since he came down on vacation on December 28th.  We’ve been together as a couple since September, after Tom withdrew his proposal thinking his Multiple Sclerosis would be too much of a burden on me (then re-proposed after it was too late).  Dylan’s family had a very VERY hard time accepting that he and I were together, but it’s my understanding that “they do this to every girlfriend until they force them to leave.”  It wasn’t just me they were attacking, it was him too.  Usually verbally, sometimes physically.  He was thrown out 3 times then they begged him to stay, pushing the whole situation back and forth for months before his father finally drove him to Atlantic City and dropped him off. 

Dylan arrived here on the 28th of December and immediately settled in.  After a couple weeks, he decided to try telling people again that he was staying, and the family did not accept that.  They immediately started in with the insults and the threats, so he would just hang up and try again another day.  When it came clear that he was not going to be able to talk to his family about staying, he had me contact his father, figuring he would talk to me easier.  That was not to be the case, however I did manage to get his dad to call him.  That just began and ended as yet another fight and it seemed doomed to be said.  They just wouldn’t listen — ever.

So the other night, Dylan’s mother calls his Aunt to talk to his cousin who stumbled across a photo of Dylan with me and Littlebit on a website.  Cousin talked to mom and cousin said something along the lines of “yea, I saw the pics of his new family,” which set mom off, and mom called dad and dad flipped out, called Dylan and cussed him out in a very long and vicious fight.  Couple days later, mom called Dylan and was surprisingly calm compared to all her past episodes and they were actually able to sit and talk for a good hour – no insulting, attacking, nothing, just conversation for a change.  Mom accepts that Dylan wants to be here.  No one else does.  He decided to post a public bulletin to his friends and family with the whole story and proceeded to get hate mail from his family, and letters of support from his friends.  Here’s the bulletin:

From: Elessar

Date: Jan 14, 2009 3:35 PM
Subject: Just to let all my real friends know….(not a chain letter)

Ok, well I thought it was about time I told ya all, since it is now definite. I am living in Florida now with my fiancé who you all heard so much about. (There are pics of us in my pics lol).
TO set the record straight, none of you did it per se, and none of my family is to blame. As you all know, I hated Pt. and I hated NJ with a strong passion. Well this winter break, with ring in hand, I decided to take a trip down to visit my girlfriend in FL. I got here and I liked it so much I didn’t want to leave. We then got engaged on December 29th. There is no stress comparable to my parent’s house back up in NJ. She actually just loves me for ME.
I also must admit I was extremely stressed and worn down living up there. I had almost reached the end of my rope. As soon as I got here, well I felt all that stress and frustration leave me, and it felt more like home than anywhere I have ever been. But truthfully, what sealed the deal was when a certain someone (you know who you are) called my parents and said something to set them off (instead of calling the source and asking me what was up — nah why would she do a silly thing like that. ¬_¬). They called me and verbally ripped me apart as they have so many times before and well, that is what sealed the deal for me. I am done with the verbal beatings, I am not going back.
Currently I am trying to find a way to get my stuff that I left behind, like my swords, my PC and my ankh, and a few other things. But I just wrote this because it seems like a few of my friends have been calling my cell and such and didn’t even know I was down here.
P.S. I am not totally sure how long I have left before my dad turns off my cell service, so if you really need to contact me and my Cell isn’t working, send me an IM, email, or MySpace message and I will give you my new number.

 

Some nasty comments and e-mails from the cousin who started the war followed and they slowly continue.  With mom’s acceptance though may finally come dad’s.  The rest of the family will either follow or it won’t, we can’t control that.  I’ve tried for months to get his mom to talk to me and she won’t, all she does is insult me, won’t even give a little to try to get to know me.  But, it’s like I said to his cousin.  The attacks, the insults, the threats, the attempts at guilt-tripping, the talking down to… all that serves to do is widen the gap.  It’s why he left in the first place.  No one deserves the constant verbal and emotional abuse.  Yes, he had an easy life where he came from, but it certainly did not come free.  The price he paid was constant beratement and those are the scars that last a lifetime. 

 

But, at least he’s home and happy now, in a relationship that we feel is so crazy that it has to be meant to be.  We got engaged on the 29th of December (told ya, he came down with ring in hand – he knew what he wanted 🙂 ), and we are now looking forward to a long and happy engagement of at least three years before we tie the knot (though a private handfasting was already performed in October, beginning our “year and a day”).  Funny thing is, his mother was actually a witness to that handfasting and she seemed quite excited about it…. hmm… I can’t explain her.  I don’t think anyone can.  It’s probably safer not to try.

 

There is other minor news compared to this, and that is on Tuesday I had my first court victory in 3 years on my divorce saga with my ex.  The ex had attempted to have me incarcerated or get the judge to order a lump-sum payment out of me for $2800.  Well, he’ll be getting his $2800 — IN 5 1/2 YEARS, at $10 a week.  The look on his face (and his little whore’s) as they were leaving the courthouse was PRICELESS.  Dylan and I could not stop ourselves from breaking out in fits of laughter as they scowled their way past us.  I think the entire court system is just tired of him — for once, he was the one getting screwed royally.  I must admit it also provided some twisted satisfaction to see him up close for the first time in a while, he has started to actually go very grey within huge bald patches on his head that he never had before, and they seem to have appeared quite rapidly!  Is he finally feeling the stress of his wrongdoings?  Realizing that the grass wasn’t greener on the other side?  The tables are starting to turn, I hope….

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About lifeinpawprints

I'm a 40-something single mom blogging from the East Coast of Florida, trying to have faith in a world that has not been so kind. Always searching for a creative outlet, be it blogging, photography or crafting things from god-knows-what.

Posted on January 15, 2009, in Love. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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